Why do I get affected by others? || Acharya Prashant, with youth (2013)

Question : Why do I get affected when others say something about me?

Speaker : You do not ask this question when someone says something good about you or when someone gives you a compliment. This question that why do I get affected when somebody says something about me, arises only when someone says something bad, something hurtful about you. When you are praised by others, then this question does not arise at all. there lies the catch.

Someone comes and tells you that you are brilliant. You are so willing to take and accept this compliment, not only willing to take and accept but internalize it. Right? Someone tells you that you are brilliant and your mind translates it as – “I am brilliant.” See the process, look at what is happening.

Now what has happened is that you have become dependent on that person for your identity. Your sense of your self is coming from that person, so now you are dependent upon him. You have opened the gates of your mind for him.

Now if you have to accept when he says that you are brilliant, you will also have to accept when he says that you are stupid, and then you will be affected. You are affected others because everything that you know about yourself as nice, has always come from others, you have never known it yourself.