Questioner: We treat sex as fun, as food, and nothing more than that. Is that why sex converts into lust?
Acharya Prashant: No, wrong. We do not treat sex just as fun and as food. Your longing for sex is far more intense, far more aggressive, far more meaningful, rather loaded with meaning, than is your desire for fun or food. If you could be a little light about sex, a little cool about sex, then sex would have been a lesser problem.
We treat sex as a panacea. We treat sex as a great relief. The expectations that you have from sex are unmatched. You never expect from a pizza what you expect from your girlfriend. Even the most expensive pizza is never looked at in the same way as one looks at a man or woman. So do not look at them in the same dimension because for most of us they are not in the same dimension.
People write poetry, people raise monuments devoted to their partners. That is sex. But I have never seen a Taj Mahal raised for a hot dog. So there is a difference. That difference is very unfortunate. That difference must not be there because that difference implies that you are not only treating the other’s body as a hot dog but actually as a super-duper hot dog. You are saying, “What the hot dog cannot give me, my girlfriend would give me.” That is why the girlfriend holds a much more important position than the hot dog.
Find something real. Stop placing imaginary hopes upon this and that. One woman will go, the other woman will come, you will keep hoping that this one or the next one is going to be your goddess, that will never fructify.
Fulfillment is your nature, not an achievement. Don’t be a beggar. Be a little cool. A woman is just a woman: wonderful, beautiful, respectable, nice to be with, nice to look at, lovable, and that’s all. Why do you want to put some sauce upon her? No girl is going to like it if she finds some oregano in her hair. Don’t place hopes upon consuming her. Be pre-fulfilled. Be already contented. And then you will be able to bring contentment to your girlfriend also.
In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex—good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time, or both, and then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?
Now, if…
Unless you have reached the heart, the sexual activity has gone waste. Sex that is just a few inches deep serves no purpose. Sex has to be infinitely deep. You have to touch not only the other’s body but really the heart. That is what you are looking for.
You must know what the place of security and money and sex is in your life. If you don’t know their right places, then for the purpose of sex you will give somebody a high position in your life, and then you will suffer. Persons are essentially harmless; harmful is…
