Questioner (Q): Is it possible to live alone?
Acharya Prashant (AP): Why does this question arise?
Q: Because I don’t want to get married.
AP: Why don’t you want to get married?
Q: Because I want to go on the path of spirituality. And dependency should not be there. I feel that if I marry someone, I will be dependent.
AP: What if you are dependent on somebody or something else even if you don’t marry?
Q: I feel complete without marriage.
AP: Then, why does this question arise?
AP: So, you are already in a way wedded to that loneliness. Right?
It is not the woman that troubles you, it is the feeling—the attachment, the loneliness, the dependency. They may be there even if the woman is not there. Had liberation been just about not having a woman in your life or not marrying, then it would have been so simplistic. Don’t marry and you are liberated.
It does not happen that way.
Q: Nobody can live alone.
AP: Yes, we don’t live alone because we live with our despair, our desperation, with all our suppressed desires – we live with them. And because we live that way, so even when a man or a woman comes into our life, we color him/her with these things.
So, a woman or a man is not responsible if we feel bonded or suffocated. That suffocation has only been made manifest by the presence of another person, precipitated by the person. It is actually coming from something in your mind and that something in your mind is your basic sense of becoming.
"I want to become something else, what can help me become that? Without that, I am lonely, I want to become complete. A woman helps me, so, when a woman is not there, I feel lonely. I want to become spiritual, a woman hinders me, so, I want to keep the woman away." This desire to become, this desire to reach, to transform- that is what you need to divorce. The woman you can easily wed, it’s okay. Or you may not wed, that too is okay.
All of that is incidental, secondary.
We all are born married.
So, now it is not in your hands to not to marry. First of all, your wife is this body and it’s a very obsessive wife. Try keeping her away! And a very demanding wife. Then, the mind, the tendencies, ten other things—you are wedded to all of that.
So, where is the question of not marrying?
Get rid of these things, and then, even if a woman comes to your life, it is alright. You feel like, marry her. Don’t feel like, don’t marry her.
It’s okay.
Love would have helped you fly. And now you have captivated love within four walls. As wise men and women, if you are married, wonderful. As wise men and women, if you are not married, wonderful. The point is not really marriage. The point is wisdom. https://dev-main8.vedant.life/en/articles/marriage-and-love-1_0ff5cad
In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex—good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time, or both, and then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?
You already have enough troubles, right? We don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you? But yes, if someone can bring joy and Truth to you, invite them right into your heart, and then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry—wonderful! You…
