Questioner (Q): Sir, when two people are at the same level and if one of the two moves ahead, the other is mostly not comfortable with this fact. Whereas, had the same person not been known to him, the second fellow would have been comfortable. Why is it so that knowing someone yields to problems, including jealousy?
Acharya Prashant (AP): There is very little left to be answered here, the fact has been rightly stated. It is just that you have known the fellow for a period of time. Now the fellow is changing. Obviously, you cannot change the fact that you have known him. Obviously, there are images from the past, and compared to those images the fact of today is different.
I am not asking you to forget the images of the past. I am not asking you to look at that man in a new light. I am not asking you to look at him as if you are looking at him for the first time today. Because that is probably not possible for you. You have been too close, too intimate for too long to look at that man afresh.
Yes, you have a past. Yes, the changed man is standing right in front of you. Now if you really love the man, isn’t this a cause worth celebrating? Isn’t this a development to be rejoiced? Do not forget that earlier he was with you; because you will not be able to forget. But today, if he is a little unlike you, should you not celebrate this fact? Or would you rather mourn and complain and be jealous? If jealousy is arising in you, it is a fair opportunity to reflect on the quality of the relationship that has always been there.
“I have been with somebody and I do not like the fact that he is refining”. Now, has the relationship been of love? Had it been of love, I would have been happy. I would have said, “Great that you are moving ahead. I love you even more now. I loved you then and you are far more lovable today.” Or would you rather regret and rue?
