If you are suffering, there is nobody but you who is responsible. Unless you fully accept that responsibility, there is no freedom. If your suffering is just incidental, then how can there be freedom from it?—because incidents can happen any way, any day.
You have to, first of all, clearly realize that suffering cannot come to you without your consent. Not only your consent, but your active participation is needed in the process of suffering. Not only your participation, but your active doership is needed for you to suffer. Otherwise, you cannot suffer.